DON’T PANIC! I’VE GOT A TOWEL!

In an effort to explain to as many people with as little effort as possible, because honestly, having to answer the question, “How do you feel?” well, it’s a loaded gun. So here I go …

I currently have: Lyme Disease and its co-infection Bartonella. But the funny thing is doctors neither confirm nor dispute the active infections despite finding a tick in my NOSE positive for Lyme’s Disease, having a mini-stroke a week later and many unexplained symptoms followed by getting the RASH during the first week of antibiotics and every single lab test is inconclusive but Bartonella is positive IgG. Apparently I am in a “grey area” of medicine where no two doctors will agree on diagnosis and do not understand the disease as it is inconsistent in its signs and symptoms and my lab results are incredibly inconsistent.

I am Wonderful!! 🙂

This has resulted in a mini-stroke, chronic fatigue, the inability to walk as the neurones in my brain fail to tell my body that certain parts of limbs work at certain times of the day, I have a degenerating and displaced hip which causes my sciatic to pinch and absolutely no muscle strength in my pelvis … meaning months of physiotherapy as I learn how to walk again. Never ending nausea due to the unrelenting vertigo and dizziness, white matter lesions (i.e. neurological damage in me brain) and the latest is a heart murmur. Not sure how serious that is, I find out tomorrow. I basically walk around looking and acting like a drunk 86 year old woman without ever having a drink BUT I have the COOLEST cane ever which my Mommie gave me.

Apparently I will never die according to the infectious disease specialist to which I replied, “I will live forever? I hope I don’t end up like the Face of Boe.” I received a puzzled look.

I am on god awful gross sickening antibiotics which I will now be taking for [an extended period of time. Likely a year but we shall see how you progress.] a long time due to the heart murmur unless I have a seizure – then apparently everything will reset itself and I will be better (but may have brain damage).

My hobbies include sleeping, writing overtly sarcastic Facebook posts about my life, reposting as many “SAVE THE ARCTIC” feeds as possible, watching the paint peel off the walls, harassing the dog, cats and my Love, and coming up with a list of 100 ways to answer the question, “So how are you feeling?”

I told this to my new physiotherapist today and his response, “We are going to get along really well.” And proceeded to put on a pair of blue gloves and said, “two by two, hands of blue”.

I might be in love, sorry Dan Baker.

Oh, by the by, I am feeling great 🙂 I have so much adrenaline in my body from the physiotherapy session that I feel like I could run a marathon. But I won’t.

I think I’ll take a nap.